A really impressive first effort. You made use of the internet, class notes and wikipedia to make sure you filled your work with facts. I will get everyone to read your essay and use it as a base to improve their work.
You follow the correct structure for an essay and cram facts in BUT in a way which adds to your work. You will need slightly more opinion on why it 'failed'. It is worth considering what we mean by a failure. Does failure mean poor box office or bad critical reaction? You get close to considering this when mentioning all the advantages that Brave had.
You were also one of the few students to focus on Britishness when you mention why Brave might appeal around the world. You also mention specific CGI sections (though you did just cut and paste from wikipedia) but you also go on to mention the specific cameras used (you will need to eventually move on to explain why these are now used but as I've not taught that bit I'll let you off).
Time management might be an issue in the exam but you did do well to continually compare and contrast UK with US. A very encouraging start to the term. Don't let your effort and application drop and lets see where it takes you.
Emily.
ReplyDeleteA really impressive first effort. You made use of the internet, class notes and wikipedia to make sure you filled your work with facts. I will get everyone to read your essay and use it as a base to improve their work.
You follow the correct structure for an essay and cram facts in BUT in a way which adds to your work. You will need slightly more opinion on why it 'failed'. It is worth considering what we mean by a failure. Does failure mean poor box office or bad critical reaction? You get close to considering this when mentioning all the advantages that Brave had.
You were also one of the few students to focus on Britishness when you mention why Brave might appeal around the world. You also mention specific CGI sections (though you did just cut and paste from wikipedia) but you also go on to mention the specific cameras used (you will need to eventually move on to explain why these are now used but as I've not taught that bit I'll let you off).
Time management might be an issue in the exam but you did do well to continually compare and contrast UK with US. A very encouraging start to the term. Don't let your effort and application drop and lets see where it takes you.
Argument 13/25
Evidence 20/25
33/50 (c+)